Thursday, January 10, 2008

Fighting Depression

Recently, I find myself fighting a vicious enemy known as depression. Depression isn't new to me; About 10 years ago, I was diagnosed with severe inherited chemical depression. No, I didn't know that you could inherit depression, but after it was explained to me, and after analyzing one of my parents, it does make sense that I could have, in fact, inherited a chemical imbalance, which would result in depression. I am usually able to maintain control over the depression and keep it from interfering with my daily life. In fact, I am usually a very upbeat, optimistic, and fun person.

After we first moved here, I found myself falling into a deep depression, but was able to overcome it after a few weeks. Since then, I've been fine. However, over the past week or so, I find it harder to fight this monster. I know what the causes are... the main cause being my lack of earning a sufficient income... feeling insecure about my physical appearance due to losing so much weight over the past six months also adds to the depression. I'm also feeling overwhelmed with too many things that need to be done, and when I think about the to-do list as a whole, I become too overwhelmed and cannot bring myself to attempt to even focus on finishing one of the tasks. From experience, I realize this is one of the signs of depression - not being able to concentrate on completing tasks.

I don't want to allow myself to go down that path of depression, and I'm trying to fight it... However, I'm beginning to feel powerless, insecure, and inadequate. I'm not looking for sympathy with this post, rather just trying to get my feelings written down so I can try to gain strength, because writing has always been a release for me and has always helped me gain perspective. I will overcome this... I always have... I just hope it's soon.

20 comments:

Tammy

Hey Sweetie! I fell into depression after all the problem I had with getting pregnant and then losing the baby. It took a long time to work through it, but with the help of my happy pills, I'm a lot better now. Love ya, Tammy

~*SilverNeurotic*~

I've been battling depression for at least 12 years. It's really hard sometimes, as much as you try to fight it sometimes you just can't. You just have to let it run its course. Writing helps me a lot as well, and it's sometimes good to know that there's other people that are dealing with the same thing.

Bubba's Sis

I fight it, too, sweetie - I take a happy pill every day and it really does help. I'm praying for you....

Anna

I hope it's soon, too

I feel the exact same way about the to-do list.

D...

{{{Misty Dawn}}} I know you will overcome it and I, too, hope it's soon. You are in my prayers. Do what you need to do to take care of you.

The to-do list is a killer. One thing at a time.....

Linda

No great words of advice from me, just a big hug and a shoulder to lean on should you need one. I've been down in that deep, dark pit of depression myself a time or two - especially at this time of the year - and know what it feels like when I start to slide that way.

Hang in there, kiddo, and take good care of yourself!

Cathy

For me it surfaced in college. I've struggled with it ever since, on meds, off meds, therapy...

It's tough, I know. Especially this time of year.

Hang in there. It's good that you recognize it. That's the most important thing, knowing your enemy.

A Nice Place In The Sun

Misty, I hate to see you suffer from depression, like so many of us do. I tell myself that things have to get better- or better yet, that they will get better. I keep smiling when I don't feel like it, and telling myself I feel good when I don't - clinging to the faith that if I hang on long enough all of my good thoughts will manifest into reality. Don't forget you're not alone, that you're loved,and that nothing lasts forever~

Hugs~

Ann

Cat

Just stopping in to say Hi, and hope your new year is a great one! But.. I see you are going through the same stuff I am going through. Winter is the worst time for it. Stay strong, you are most deffinately powerful, and adequate! You can do it girl.

HUGS

The Uneasy Supplicant

Misty
See a doctor! If you had any other other disease you wouldn't hesitate.
As for giving advice ... other than take things one at a time ... It's good you recognize the symptoms. If you can't beat them then seek medical help.
Take care.
~JD

Juliana RW

Hi Misty,

You want try to win a Diamond earrings giveaway

Akelamalu

I've only ever been there once thank goodness, and it's hell. Get some help Misty. xx

bundle-o-contradictions

Me too, me too, me too, me too! I'm there right now. I've gone from uber Grumpty to Sleepy & Fopey...(hey I Sneeze pretty frequently, too), but my Doc doesn't seem concerned. Frustrating, isn't it? I'm most worried that my grades will suffer...

Judy

Hang in there Misty. One day at a time. We miss seeing you on the forum. I like your blog and you have some great pictures. Take care...

Judy

Sonia

I just found your blog and I do hope you will be fine very, very soon! I think you will like to see my current post, as you love so much dogs. Have a nice day!
Regards from Sonia, São Paulo, Brazil.

Sonia

Love your dogs, Molly, Tag and Maggie Mae. They look adorable!
I am also a dog people!

JaniceNW

Sweetie if it wasn't for medical intervention I'd be depressed too. You need to care of yourself in whatever way works for you!!HUGGLES!

tegdirb92

you are in my thoughts today, Misty. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. You are important in my life and thanks for always being here for me.

Sandy Kessler

me too I had hope at the New Year but was hit with many big problems and 3 deaths in 11 first days of the year- just starting to come out of it. very strange for me ibeati

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