Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Not Forgotten

I remember the morning/day very well.

My husband and I were married on August 18. So, we were 'newlyweds'. He had been out milking (we were still a dairy farm at that time). He had come in for breakfast, and we were watching a morning TV show before I needed to get ready for work. They broke into the morning show to announce that a plane had flown into one of the towers. We watched as an 'expert' was being interviewed - he was being asked if he thought that this could possibly be a terror attack. In the midst of this 'expert' explaining that it was probably just an inexperienced pilot error and that people are too quick to jump to the conclusion of terrorism... the second plane flew into the other tower. I remember the feelings of disbelief, terror, and helplessness that overcame me. I remember looking at my husband and saying "Did that REALLY just happen?" As the announcers began to repeat over and over again "Another plane has now flown into the other tower!!" My husband and I just sat there - speechless. My husband even picked up the remote and flipped through other channels, because we couldn't believe what we were seeing - we thought it HAD to be some sort of trick photography to show what could have happened if it were, in fact, a terrorist attack.

I got ready for work. I drove to work listening to radio broadcasts of the attacks. I remember that I cried the whole way to work. I felt so helpless and defenseless. Just as I pulled into work, the local radio broadcast announced something about a plane over Cleveland (I lived in Ohio), and that the Cleveland-Hopkins Airport was being shutdown. I ran into work and turned on CNN. I later heard that all government buildings in Ohio were being closed. My boss was at the courthouse for a trial. He called me to check-in. As he talked, I realized that he had no idea what had happened. Then he realized that I was crying. He asked what was wrong. I remember asking "You didn't hear anything in Court about what has happened?" He had not heard, and I began to attempt to tell him - I still was in disbelief, and when I told him, he was too. He said something like "Are you sure about this?" When he came back to the office, the two of us sat together watching the TV, and we both cried. He sent me home early that day, and the subsequent days consisted of watching the TV and listening to the radio to hear the updates on rescues, searches, and eyewitness/survivor accounts.

I remember seeing the people on TV holding up signs with people's photos and names on them, because they were desperately trying to find out news of their loved ones - Every time, every photo, every name, would make me cry. I also remember my boss trying to calm me down when I would be in my office typing, while a news channel played on the TV in the background - I would hear some idiot, moron of a reporter ask a young child "And, how did it feel when you found out your daddy died in the tower?" I would be yelling and cursing at the reporter on the TV, as my boss would come out of his office to calm me down. Honestly, he didn't mind - he likes that I am so emotional and full of feeling for others. I would point at the TV and scream "That stupid idiot just asked how this child felt when he found out his daddy was dead!?!? I CAN'T believe that I used to dream about and want to be a journalist!" I know they were just doing their jobs, but... well, never mind - I'm rambling too much as it is. I'll leave you with this... Have I forgotten? NEVER

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