Heads or Tails *Direction*

At our going away party, before moving to the new state, a very dear friend of mine, whom I refer to as my second father, asked, "Are you going to have an address out there?"

"Yep." I replied.

"Do you want to expand on that?" he asked.

I got my 'I'm rotten to the core and totally sarcastic' grin on my face and replied, "It's 1234 Highway Middle of Nowhere. Just turn left at the cow."

He pretty much called me a smart a*s and started laughing.

When my dad and I were making the trip to move me out here. We were just coming through an adjoining town, and there ahead of us was a giant cow. A great big giant cow standing in front of the town's auction barn. I burst out laughing and told my dad about my conversation with my second dad (dad wasn't at the going away party, but he could fully respect my sarcasm to my second dad, because my dad and second dad are best friends.... was that confusing?). My dad just got this big grin on his face and said, "Guess what Mist. You need to turn left here to head to your house!"

We were laughing so hard that we had to pull over to the side of the road before we could continue on our journey.

Now, whenever I work at the insurance company, I pass that cow. I always think of my dad and me sitting in the car laughing so hard we had tears streaming down our face, and it always makes me smile, as I "turn left at the cow" to head back to my house :-)

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Heads or Tails *Direction*

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/04/heads-or-tails-direction.html

Heads or Tails *Express*

Heads or Tails has its very own home now! If you click on the graphic above, it will take you to the awesome new HoT blog where you can sign up and start participating in this fun and popular meme!

Today's topic is Heads - Express. Well, you'd be really disappointed if I didn't have a story to tell, wouldn't you. Yeah, just shake your head and make me feel better about my obsessed story telling. Pretend like you like it. hehe

As you know, my grandparents raised me. Well, when I was growing up, my grandpa used to tell my dad, "I just want to be sure she is able to express herself." Grandpa was certainly good at expressing himself; although, we usually called it 'the gift-of-gab'. I can remember being sent outside when he would be talking with a customer who had come to buy lumber. "Grampa, Gramma sent me to get you, cuz it's time for dinner.".... .... .... "Grampa! Gramma is gonna get mad if dinner gets cold!".... .... .... "Grampa! Please don't make me go back in there without you! I'm supposed to be bringing you with me!" hehehe - I love both of them more than I can possibly express to you. ANYWAY, Last week, I would have certainly made my grandpa proud, because I was involved in a half-hour long conversation, and I didn't even understand half of what was said.

There is a couple here in the new county who own quite a bit of land and an equipment dealership. In fact, they own the land across the road where I always photograph deer. Anyway, they are from Argentina. They are a fantastic and friendly couple, and I am always touched, because whenever they drive by when I am walking down the road with my camera in hand, they stop to talk to me. Here's the hitch - they have very strong accents. Well, to them, I'm probably the one with an accent. Anyway, a lot of the time, I have trouble understanding what they are saying to me. So, I don't want to offend my new friends, and I just smile and nod a lot. Well, last week, I was on a sunset-photo-walk, and they stopped to talk to me. Apparently, I agreed to work for them and didn't even know it!

You see, I came home in the dark after our roadside conversation, and told my husband about running into to them and always feeling embarrassed because I stink at understanding people with accents. The next day, Hubs went to their equipment dealership to purchase a part he needed.

The owner of the dealership turned to his wife and asked, "Do you know who this is?" She replied that she didn't. So, he introduced Hubs to her. According to Hubs, she immediately got a huge smile on her face and replied, "OH! Your wife is coming to work for us!" Hubs quickly figured things out and asked, "Oh really? Ummmmm So, when does she start?"

Apparently, I'm expressing myself when I don't even realize it!

Oh, and you didn't think I'd end this post without expressing myself in my most favorite manner of expression, did you? This is what I was photographing when this friendly couple, who are apparently my new employers, pulled up and started talking with me.

(c) Misty DawnS

(c) Misty DawnS

What will this mean for my blogging? I'm not really sure yet. I'll know more tomorrow, after I have gone to talk to them about the details. I'm not willing to give up the friends I have found here (see my previous post) or blogging. So, one way or another - you're stuck with me. Tomorrow, I will discuss what is exactly expected of me, what the hours would be, and what the pay would be. Honestly, if the pay is not enough, with the price of gas now, I can't afford to be driving there and back each day just so I can say "I have a 'real' job." So, we'll just have to see. Hmmmm, I wonder if they have leather office chairs. I guess that's a little much to expect for a farm equipment shop, huh? *sigh*

By the way - My friends - PLEASE read my previous post. I put forth extra effort to make sure my 500th post was extra-special.

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Heads or Tails *Express*

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/04/heads-or-tails-express.html

Heads or Tails *Fool*

Heads or Tails has its very own home now! If you click on the graphic above, it will take you to the awesome new HoT blog where you can sign up and start participating in this fun and popular meme!

Today's topic is Heads - Fool.

Don't worry, I'm not going to ramble on and on through silly story throughout this post like I usually do.

April Fools! I lied - I AM going to tell you a story, and, as usually, I'll probably do my share of rambling too.

A few years ago, Hubs decided to play an April Fools joke on his sister. It began as a very simple joke, but, boy oh boy did it escalate into much more than we had anticipated.

On March 31 of that year, we drove to the adjoining state where my step-daughters lived to see my oldest step-daughter perform in a play for her drama club. The play was an Agatha Christy play, and Hub's daughter ended up being the one 'who dun it'. hehe

The next morning (April Fools Day), Hubs sent his sister an e-mail and told her that we had gone to see the girls the night before, and he was surprised to find out that the oldest daughter had gotten into some trouble (referring to the play - which sister-in-law KNEW we were going to see!).

Since I have an extremely difficult time lying, I stayed out of this. Well, I tried to.

That night, Hubs was outside working on the farm, and my sister-in-law called in a HUGE panic.
"This is horrible! Oh no, this is so bad, now her grandma is going to know and... oh no, this is bad" she stammered.

"What in the world are you talking about?" I asked.

She explained that she had typed a long e-mail to Hubs (her brother) asking about what had happened with oldest daughter. In the e-mail, she had also proceeded to ask if she was pregnant or if it was drugs, or what. She went on in the e-mail to say that she just couldn't believe that the oldest daughter was in some sort of trouble, because she was the child of Hubs who never did anything wrong.

After typing all of this out in an e-mail, naturally, she clicked 'Send'. The problem was, she accidentally sent it to her and Hubs' aunt... which is Hubs' mom's sister. Which meant that the phones were already being dialed to tell 'Grandma' that her oldest grandchild had gotten herself into some trouble.

I about fell out of my chair trying not to laugh. My sister-in-law was freaking out, because she was going to be responsible for 'ratting Oldest daughter out to her grandma'.

Then she asked me, "Misty? Is she pregnant? That's what it is, isn't it? Is she? Oh my gosh, I can't believe that now Mom is going to know!"

I couldn't help it, she was in such a panic, I had to make her feel better... but she just wasn't getting it.

"Sis-in-Law, listen to me. What is the date today?"

"It's April 1st! Who cares! I'm trying to talk to you about Hub's Daughter!"

"Sis-in-Law, LISTEN to me!!! Where did we go last night?"

"To see her play! What is your point???"

"It was an Agatha Christy whodunit play. Did you know that?" I asked.

"YES, I knew that! Misty, what is your point?"

"OK, work with me here. I'll ask you again... what is TODAY???"

She was really getting ready to lose her temper with me. Her voice started to rise, and then, all of a sudden it dropped, and she said "Ohhhhhh, I am SO going to get him for this!!!"

Later, Hubs called to personally thank his sister for making his simple little April Fools joke much more interesting than he had ever imagined it would be.

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Heads or Tails *Fool*

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/heads-or-tails-fool.html

A Funny In Podunk

You know me, I've got lots of silly, emotional, and funny stories to share. Yep, it sure is a good thing I started this blog so I could bore you to tears share all my stories with all of you. Whether it be dogs, farming, baby cribs, remodeling, web cams (Barb and Tammy, I can hear you laughing), or being an administrative assistant, I've got a story about it. That's why you like me, right? Because I've always got a story to tell? It's not? Oh shoot, I need to change my whole direction here then. But, before I do, I've got a funny story to share!

I worked at the insurance agency on Thursday and Friday. The insurance agent, aka my boss (we'll call him "Agent"), and I don't really know each other that well yet, and I feel a bit uncomfortable around him sometimes. So, I've been trying to find a way to break the ice and cause us to 'connect'. Anyway, when I arrived Friday morning, he was in his office with a client.

When the client left, and my boss came out of his office, I said, "Hey Agent, your friend called and said he would be calling back, so don't head over to the tire shop until he calls."

Agent asked, "Why would he think I'm going to go to the tire shop?"

I replied, "Well, probably because you always go to the tire shop."

Agent grinned and said, "Well, tell him I ain't got time to mess with him." (No, he didn't use the word mess, but this is a family friendly blog.)

So, I realized that he was in a good mood and said, "Well, since you are in a good mood, I've got something to ask you. You do realize that the door is spelled wrong, right?"

Agent stood there staring at me and asked, "What the heck are you talking about?"

I said, "Well, I always thought that the name of this agency, also the name of the county, was spelled '...NAM'."

He said, "Yeah, that IS how it's spelled." and stood there looking at me like I was mentally slow.

I asked, "Oh yeah, well then why does the door say '...MAN'?" and sat there looking at him like he was mentally slow.

Agent stood staring at me for a moment and then turned and ran outside to look at the door. I watched with amusement while he frantically tried to scratch letters off the door.

When he came back in, he shook his head, looked at me, and said, "People are going to think we're a bunch of freaking dummies." (No, those aren't the exact words he used, but this is a family-friendly blog.)

I replied, "Well, I'm not, because I'm the one who noticed it. You mean to tell me that NO ONE else has ever noticed that???"

"No." he replied, "You're the only one."

I gave him my thoughtful look and said, "Wow, y'all are a bunch of unobservant people here in Podunk, aren't ya?"

This sent him into hysterics laughing, because when he first asked if I would like to work there, I told him I would give him a resume. His reply was, "We don't need a resume, we're just a little insurance agency in Podunk." SO, anyone reading this from my area - I am NOT making fun of our community, I was repeating his term ;-) Besides, I'd never make fun - I love it here! ;-)

What makes this story even more funny is the fact that they just finished spending quite a bit of money to put vinyl scenes on the two big windows on both sides of the aforementioned door, remodel the offices, new paint, and new carpet... Yet, the name of the agency (also the county) is spelled wrong on the door. Hehe, I bet he wishes I would have never moved here!

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A Funny In Podunk

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/funny-in-podunk.html

When Typos Are All Too Appropriate

Oh my gosh have I got a funny story for you! Guys - take this as an advanced warning - you may consider this post to be 'too much information' or 'too much woman-stuff talk'. So, if you're a guy and get uncomfortable about the true facts-of-life that women must deal with, then I suggest you just skip this post.

Last night, I was talking to my BBFF, whom shall remain nameless (Yeah, like you don't know by now), on the instant messenger. To fully understand this post, you need to know that lately, we have taken up the silly habit of using computer terms to refer to ummmmmm - body parts and marital 'relations'. You know, "formatting your hard drive" or "putting a floppy in your disk drive" - I think you get the idea, and, if you don't, well then, this post isn't really for you.

I told her that I wouldn't be online today until this afternoon, because I had an appointment this morning.

I typed "Man, I don't wanna go to my appointment tomorrow."

The ever-wise-woman (and she's really good at reading my mind too) replied, "Gotta go get a pap-smear, eh?"

"How'd you know that?" I asked.

"No woman wants to go get a pap-smear." She so matter-of-factly replied.

Then she asked, "So, even though you don't have any, does your doctor do a breast exam too?"

"Yeah," I replied, "If she can find them."

"When my doctor is doing the exam, he makes jokes the whole time to keep my mind off it." She told me.

"Oh, I'm usually making jokes about my lack of chest with my doctor," I joked, "and she usually is cracking up laughing."

"You have a woman doctor?" She asked.

"Yeah." I replied.

"Wow, I can't remember the last time a woman examined my di*k drive." She remarked...

At the same beautiful moment, we both realized that instead of an "s", she accidentally used a "c". When we both were able to breath again and see the computer through the tears in our eyes from laughing so hard, I replied...

"Oh, I am SO going to post about this. You just made one of the most appropriate typos ever!"

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When Typos Are All Too Appropriate

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/when-typos-are-all-too-appropriate.html

The Bird Conspiracy

I've been telling you for months now that I want to capture some good bird photos. I was quite happy with the photos of the birds at my feeders, but those just made me want even more.Then, yesterday, Hubs and I went to town. On our way back, I exclaimed "Look at that hawk sitting on the fence post right by the road!" As we continued on our trip, we passed about eight more hawks just sitting on the fence posts right along side the road. Of course I didn't have my camera with me, and that's why the hawks were there... they were there to taunt me.

Yep, it's a conspiracy. They have Missouri hawk meetings so the birds can plan and discuss how to drive The Little Crazy Woman With The Big Camera even more crazy and insane. Of course, when I got home, I immediately grabbed my camera and jumped back in my poor beat up vehicle (Hubs hit a deer the other night) and put the pedal on the floor drove back to the road where we saw all the hawks. I only saw one hawk when I went down the road, and when I slowed down, the hawk flew away - I'm telling you - they do this on purpose - they are trying to send me to the nut house (or cause me to wreck - it's rather difficult to drive while simultaneously turning on, zooming, and focusing your camera).

So, I turned around... on my way back, I saw another hawk... started to slow down, pull up the camera, and CRAP there was a vehicle coming behind me! So, I had to keep going... of course, while I had that vehicle behind me, I saw THREE more hawks... and they were laughing... seriously - one had its wing up to its beak trying to hide the laughter, but the others were not so considerate - they just pointed at me with their wings, threw their heads back, beaks in the air, and laughed and laughed.

I had my window down for quick photo access, and while trying to get somewhere where that person behind me would pass, I had a semi drive by and was smacked in the face with rocks and salt... yeah - great.
So, as I told my dad this story last night, I told him that these da*% birds have now made it personal! I told him I am now on a mission. Dad chuckled and said "Don't worry Honey, they will come to you." That's my daddy, always trying to give his daughter some hope. But, HECK - I think Daddy called his own meeting and sent birds... millions and millions of birds to me! The lengths that man goes to for his daughter, I tell ya!
Seriously - do you see ALL the birds that showed up today??? I felt like I was in the Alfred Hitchcock movie! I would have the camera to my eye to take a photo of this many birds in the South, and I would hear this overbearing racket, and when I turned around, I would see just as many birds coming at me from the North!!! I was thrilled at this spectacular sight - It truly was amazing...

But then I started wondering... Is this just part of the hawk's conspiracy??? Did they gather together all these geese at a meeting and send them to invade me??? Why? What is their next move? I'm sleeping with one eye open, I tell ya.

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The Bird Conspiracy

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/bird-conspiracy.html

Proofweed

What??? Something wrong with my title? Oh yeah - that brings me to the point of this post.

I was working today at one of my various jobs - the one as a virtual assistant. Anyway, I am so very grateful that I make it a habit to proofread EVERYTHING I type for work... even if it is just a simple letter.

You see, today, I typed just that... a simple letter. This letter was talking about a man who filed bankruptcy (remember, I am the virtual assistant for a lawyer). I typed the letter, began to proofread, and then proceeded to fall on the floor in absolute hysterics due to my typo. The letter, as I typed it, went something like this...

Dear Client: I attended a meeting of creditors today to attempt to get some money that is owed to you by Mr. X, who is filing bankruptcy. During this hearing, we discovered that he had previously sold his hoe for $150,000.00. However, his net proceeds were only $50,000.00, and he repaid $45,000.00 to his father.

Well, it was good for a laugh anyway, and, yes, I corrected my typo before I sent it to my boss (actually, my boss would have laughed his you-know-what off about it - I'll have to call him tomorrow and tell him about it).

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Proofweed

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/01/proofweed.html

Help - I've Fallen...

Twice!

I feel like such a dork (that was for you, Tam)! I went for a walk - I was on the quest to find the BIG BIRD which almost decapitated me yesterday. It's wet and muddy and messy and yucky here, but that was NOT going to stop me! Oh no - I must.find.that.bird! Must.get.photo!

So, I come to the first ditch in the field. Now, there is water running through it and the banks of the ditch are muddy. Who cares? I played three sports year round when I was in school (hey - that was only fourteen years - *gasp* was it that long - ago?)...

Like a deer, I jumped the ditch. It was beautiful - I would have scored at least an 8.5 with the wind blowing through my hair... and... well, my landing - well, it wouldn't have scored as well. I landed - my whole body landed... you see I came down beautifully - until my feet slipped in the mud and I went face down. UGH was the sound I made (only because the wind was knocked out of me, so I couldn't voice all the curses that came to mind). I got up - looked around to make sure that no one just happened to be standing out in my field to see me fall on my face - checked my beloved camera - and continued on my walk.

I then came to the next ditch. Oh no, fool me once... yeah, yeah, you know the saying. I did not jump this ditch. I was just going to go ahead and step in the mud and cross the ditch. Suuuuuuuure. First step... foot goes sliding on the slippery-snot-like mud and goes flying out in front of me while I scream "Ohhhhh...." ummmm "no" Yeah, that's what I said "Oh no" Hey! you weren't there - that's what I said - really! I landed flat on my freaking back - in the mud... and... oh yes...

I watch as THE bird... that *&%^*&* bird goes flying over me (I swear he was looking down at me and laughing - seriously he did this sound as he flew over! That bas^$d was laughing at me! I could just hear him "Who wishes they had their camera ready now??? cawwwww cawwww"

Stupid bird! Stupid mud! Who needs awesome photos anyway? ( I do - and I'll be back out there soon - addiction... it's a bear!)

So, I came... slowly... home. Hubs looks at me and asks "Honey! Did you fall?"
"No Darling, I decided it was a great time for a mud bath - YES I fell... TWICE" I was touched at the concern in his voice... that was... until he asked...
"Oh no! Did you hurt..." (Right now I can hear you saying 'awwwww, he's concerned about her')... the complete statement was

"Oh no! Did you hurt the camera?"
Me muttering under my breath - "Yes, I broke it to pieces - just gonna have to go buy that Canon now" ;-) UGH!

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Help - I've Fallen...

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/01/help-ive-fallen.html

Reason for Changed Copyright

While I sit here wrapped up in a blanket, avoiding the severe ice storm going on in our little area of Missouri today (up to a half inch of ice expected), and feeling like someone is driving an ice pick into my ear (I think it finally turned into a full blown ear infection), I will tell you the story of why my copyright symbol now says Misty DawnS... that looks so dumb, doesn't it? I really need a logo or something - I'm open for suggestions. Anyway...

After reading posts about what searches people were using to get to my friends' blogs, I started attempting to find that information about my blog (which I haven't... yet). As I was looking over different sites in an attempt to find this often amusing information, I ended up at Technorati. As I glanced at a page, I saw a blog that linked to me which I didn't recognize... that's no big deal, the linky love, memes, and do follow lists really travel. Upon further investigation, I saw this blog linked back to EVERY post I've made in the past few weeks. Naturally, I went to check out the blog which was being so generous by linking to all my posts. The blog, my friends, is a blog about 'adult stars'. The domain name has that three letter 's' word in it... you know the one that guys never get enough of ;-) Apparently this blog thinks that I am a particular Misty Dawn, who has much bigger better assets that I.

There is an absolute knock out blond (I can hear those keys typing in the Google search box right now) named Misty Dawn. Trust me - the only thing that is similar about me and this hottie is our name! Now, she's not a 'porn' star, she is a 'glamour' and 'glamour-nude' photography model - which I honestly do not have a problem with, as long as it is not trashy (does that make sense? probably not). In fact, she is very beautiful and the majority of her photos are also very beautiful (they are NOT all of her being completely nude).

Anyway, I was laughing about this, and my husband asks "What's so funny?"
I said, "Well, I may be Misty Dawn, but unfortunately, I look nothing like that Misty Dawn!"
Hubs came and looked at the computer... and continued looking at the computer... with Hubs eyes still locked with that Misty Dawn's brea eyes... I finally broke the trance...
"OK Hubs, you get the idea"
"What? Oh I can't see it - there's a glare on the monitor or something. Try clicking on another page in the gallery and see if that helps."
"Suuuuuure Hubs, glare on the monitor.... riiiiiiight." LOL - Geesh... I guess he thinks this Misty Dawn is also extremely gullible! ;-)

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Reason for Changed Copyright

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2007/12/reason-for-changed-copyright.html

They Think I'm a Softy

Yesterday, we went to the Thanksgiving get together at the home of my brother-in-law's parents.

After the eating... and eating... and eating...
The men were in the living room discussing and laughing about all the crazy and stupid wild things they did in their younger years. I was sitting at the kitchen table with a couple of the other women. At first we were playing with entertaining the kids with PlayDough. After the kids got bored, and went to another room to play, we packed everything back up into a box and continued to sit around talking.

The kids came back into the kitchen... three of said kids are my three nieces. My oldest niece is going through that "I really don't have to listen stage". She was using a plastic knife and scraping her grandma's tablecloth. I told her to stop because she would cut the tablecloth... she continued... I told her to stop again... she continued... I told her a third time... she looked at me, informed me it was OK, and continued. Finally I said "'Oldest Niece' if you don't stop it right now, Aunt Misty is going to get VERY MAD!"

She looked at me and started laughing as she exclaimed "Yeah right, Aunt Misty never gets mad"

The other adults in the room did their very best to hold back their laughter, while I responded "Yeah, well, you don't want to see the first time!"

Those kids much take me as a big ol' softy of an aunt!

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They Think I'm a Softy

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2007/11/they-think-im-softy.html