Camera-Critters Sunday #5

(c) Misty DawnS

Corny Captions to Consider for this Camera-Critters Capture...

"This getting up early to get the worm business is for the birds!"

"Did you hear the one about the drunk Blue Jay?"

"Just turn your back to her and maybe she'll go away."

"Ever since she started this Camera-Critters thing, she has been chasing us birds around with that camera!"

"She's going to put us on her blog... we'll be famous. Yeah, sure, sing me another song."

"Can you believe I was turned down by American Idol? They obviously don't know true singing talent! So, I left that Simon guy a present on his windshield."

"Ya ever accidentally land on one of these barb thingies? It's a real pain in the butt!"

"Don't get your feathers in a ruffle - I'm just stopping by to say hi!"

"So, you come here often?"

"What's your sign?"

"Wanna see my worm?"

OK, OK, with that one, I'll stop. Come on, you gotta admit - you giggled at least once... didn't you?

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Camera-Critters Sunday #5

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/05/camera-critters-sunday-5.html

BBFF Ode - Happy Blogoversary

I talked to her (online) until just a couple of minutes ago. So, no, I'm not pouting. You see, my BBFF's ONE YEAR Blogoversary is TODAY!!! So, I decided to re-post a poem I wrote for her (a totally silly and goofy poem) when she was having computer problems and I couldn't 'chat' with her all night like I've grown accustomed to (and dependent upon). She's awesome - I love her - It was 'intended' and 'arranged' for us to find this friendship (I believe that with no doubt) - Go tell her Happy Blogoversary... it will make her day and she totally deserves it! You'll be a better person for knowing her!

Ode to my BBFF
Here I sit
Oh so sad
I miss the best BBFF
that I ever had.

We usually talk
for hours on end
and if someone is rude to one
the other is quick to defend.

We're experts on
data, reboot, and a good ol' hard drive clean
And we laugh like a dork and moron
when people don't know what we mean.

My BBFF, well
we thought it was a worm she had
turns out that
it was just her components gone bad.

Maybe it was the fault of her 'girls'
with which she's been blessed
the computer took one look
and it's data became all a mess!

Whatever the cause,
it has got me outta whack
I miss my BBFF
and I want our nightly chat back!

You see this poem
I should really stop
For, I've got so many
blogs I should hop.

But I'm finding
no matter how hard I try
It's just not the same
and I know exactly why.

I don't have that box
at the bottom of my screen that blinks
when she sends me a new message
or tells me to go check out a link.

So here I sit
like a sad bump on a log
without my BBFF to talk with
I don't want to hop blogs

How did I ever do it
before I met her?
I'm sure I did OK,
but how? I'm just not sure.

A lasting effect on me
this friendship has had
Daily, I think of 'moments'
and I start giggling like mad.

She's also been there
when I've needed her most.
We may physically be miles apart
but she always seems close.

But now she's not here
and I miss her so
and it sure makes me realize
I love her more than she'll ever know.

:-) Love, Misty (Dork) Dawn

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BBFF Ode - Happy Blogoversary

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/05/bbff-ode-happy-blogoversary.html

Heads or Tails *Express*

Heads or Tails has its very own home now! If you click on the graphic above, it will take you to the awesome new HoT blog where you can sign up and start participating in this fun and popular meme!

Today's topic is Heads - Express. Well, you'd be really disappointed if I didn't have a story to tell, wouldn't you. Yeah, just shake your head and make me feel better about my obsessed story telling. Pretend like you like it. hehe

As you know, my grandparents raised me. Well, when I was growing up, my grandpa used to tell my dad, "I just want to be sure she is able to express herself." Grandpa was certainly good at expressing himself; although, we usually called it 'the gift-of-gab'. I can remember being sent outside when he would be talking with a customer who had come to buy lumber. "Grampa, Gramma sent me to get you, cuz it's time for dinner.".... .... .... "Grampa! Gramma is gonna get mad if dinner gets cold!".... .... .... "Grampa! Please don't make me go back in there without you! I'm supposed to be bringing you with me!" hehehe - I love both of them more than I can possibly express to you. ANYWAY, Last week, I would have certainly made my grandpa proud, because I was involved in a half-hour long conversation, and I didn't even understand half of what was said.

There is a couple here in the new county who own quite a bit of land and an equipment dealership. In fact, they own the land across the road where I always photograph deer. Anyway, they are from Argentina. They are a fantastic and friendly couple, and I am always touched, because whenever they drive by when I am walking down the road with my camera in hand, they stop to talk to me. Here's the hitch - they have very strong accents. Well, to them, I'm probably the one with an accent. Anyway, a lot of the time, I have trouble understanding what they are saying to me. So, I don't want to offend my new friends, and I just smile and nod a lot. Well, last week, I was on a sunset-photo-walk, and they stopped to talk to me. Apparently, I agreed to work for them and didn't even know it!

You see, I came home in the dark after our roadside conversation, and told my husband about running into to them and always feeling embarrassed because I stink at understanding people with accents. The next day, Hubs went to their equipment dealership to purchase a part he needed.

The owner of the dealership turned to his wife and asked, "Do you know who this is?" She replied that she didn't. So, he introduced Hubs to her. According to Hubs, she immediately got a huge smile on her face and replied, "OH! Your wife is coming to work for us!" Hubs quickly figured things out and asked, "Oh really? Ummmmm So, when does she start?"

Apparently, I'm expressing myself when I don't even realize it!

Oh, and you didn't think I'd end this post without expressing myself in my most favorite manner of expression, did you? This is what I was photographing when this friendly couple, who are apparently my new employers, pulled up and started talking with me.

(c) Misty DawnS

(c) Misty DawnS

What will this mean for my blogging? I'm not really sure yet. I'll know more tomorrow, after I have gone to talk to them about the details. I'm not willing to give up the friends I have found here (see my previous post) or blogging. So, one way or another - you're stuck with me. Tomorrow, I will discuss what is exactly expected of me, what the hours would be, and what the pay would be. Honestly, if the pay is not enough, with the price of gas now, I can't afford to be driving there and back each day just so I can say "I have a 'real' job." So, we'll just have to see. Hmmmm, I wonder if they have leather office chairs. I guess that's a little much to expect for a farm equipment shop, huh? *sigh*

By the way - My friends - PLEASE read my previous post. I put forth extra effort to make sure my 500th post was extra-special.

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Heads or Tails *Express*

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/04/heads-or-tails-express.html

Heads or Tails *Fool*

Heads or Tails has its very own home now! If you click on the graphic above, it will take you to the awesome new HoT blog where you can sign up and start participating in this fun and popular meme!

Today's topic is Heads - Fool.

Don't worry, I'm not going to ramble on and on through silly story throughout this post like I usually do.

April Fools! I lied - I AM going to tell you a story, and, as usually, I'll probably do my share of rambling too.

A few years ago, Hubs decided to play an April Fools joke on his sister. It began as a very simple joke, but, boy oh boy did it escalate into much more than we had anticipated.

On March 31 of that year, we drove to the adjoining state where my step-daughters lived to see my oldest step-daughter perform in a play for her drama club. The play was an Agatha Christy play, and Hub's daughter ended up being the one 'who dun it'. hehe

The next morning (April Fools Day), Hubs sent his sister an e-mail and told her that we had gone to see the girls the night before, and he was surprised to find out that the oldest daughter had gotten into some trouble (referring to the play - which sister-in-law KNEW we were going to see!).

Since I have an extremely difficult time lying, I stayed out of this. Well, I tried to.

That night, Hubs was outside working on the farm, and my sister-in-law called in a HUGE panic.
"This is horrible! Oh no, this is so bad, now her grandma is going to know and... oh no, this is bad" she stammered.

"What in the world are you talking about?" I asked.

She explained that she had typed a long e-mail to Hubs (her brother) asking about what had happened with oldest daughter. In the e-mail, she had also proceeded to ask if she was pregnant or if it was drugs, or what. She went on in the e-mail to say that she just couldn't believe that the oldest daughter was in some sort of trouble, because she was the child of Hubs who never did anything wrong.

After typing all of this out in an e-mail, naturally, she clicked 'Send'. The problem was, she accidentally sent it to her and Hubs' aunt... which is Hubs' mom's sister. Which meant that the phones were already being dialed to tell 'Grandma' that her oldest grandchild had gotten herself into some trouble.

I about fell out of my chair trying not to laugh. My sister-in-law was freaking out, because she was going to be responsible for 'ratting Oldest daughter out to her grandma'.

Then she asked me, "Misty? Is she pregnant? That's what it is, isn't it? Is she? Oh my gosh, I can't believe that now Mom is going to know!"

I couldn't help it, she was in such a panic, I had to make her feel better... but she just wasn't getting it.

"Sis-in-Law, listen to me. What is the date today?"

"It's April 1st! Who cares! I'm trying to talk to you about Hub's Daughter!"

"Sis-in-Law, LISTEN to me!!! Where did we go last night?"

"To see her play! What is your point???"

"It was an Agatha Christy whodunit play. Did you know that?" I asked.

"YES, I knew that! Misty, what is your point?"

"OK, work with me here. I'll ask you again... what is TODAY???"

She was really getting ready to lose her temper with me. Her voice started to rise, and then, all of a sudden it dropped, and she said "Ohhhhhh, I am SO going to get him for this!!!"

Later, Hubs called to personally thank his sister for making his simple little April Fools joke much more interesting than he had ever imagined it would be.

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Heads or Tails *Fool*

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/heads-or-tails-fool.html

Corny Lesson

Maggie May has been trying to teach me a few things during the past few days. Yesterday, she and Molly were teaching me that when it's a beautiful day, you MUST go outside and enjoy it... and don't forget the camera, because you have two of the most beautiful dogs in the world in your family.

Today, Maggie was teaching me something else about what you do during nice weather. Well... you eat corn on the cob of course, and you get really excited about it too!

(c) Misty DawnS

Who says it needs to be cooked? Just eat it and enjoy it! When the weather is nice, find a cob o' corn and chow down!

(c) Misty DawnS

Now, the proper way to eat corn on the cob is to hold it with both hand paws and use your front teeth to bite off each kernel. Everyone knows that!

(c) Misty DawnS

You have to be alert though to make sure that no one else gets a chance to steal this yummy thing away from you!

(c) Misty DawnS

Ahhhh yes, the sun is shining, it's a beautiful day, and there's corn on the cob. What more could you possibly need?

(c) Misty DawnS

I hope you've enjoyed this little lesson on how to enjoy the moments of life to their fullest. :-)

Hubs says that this proves that she is definitely MY puppy, because she loves corn as much as I do. I personally prefer it cooked though. I'm just picky like that.

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Corny Lesson

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/corny-lesson.html

A Funny In Podunk

You know me, I've got lots of silly, emotional, and funny stories to share. Yep, it sure is a good thing I started this blog so I could bore you to tears share all my stories with all of you. Whether it be dogs, farming, baby cribs, remodeling, web cams (Barb and Tammy, I can hear you laughing), or being an administrative assistant, I've got a story about it. That's why you like me, right? Because I've always got a story to tell? It's not? Oh shoot, I need to change my whole direction here then. But, before I do, I've got a funny story to share!

I worked at the insurance agency on Thursday and Friday. The insurance agent, aka my boss (we'll call him "Agent"), and I don't really know each other that well yet, and I feel a bit uncomfortable around him sometimes. So, I've been trying to find a way to break the ice and cause us to 'connect'. Anyway, when I arrived Friday morning, he was in his office with a client.

When the client left, and my boss came out of his office, I said, "Hey Agent, your friend called and said he would be calling back, so don't head over to the tire shop until he calls."

Agent asked, "Why would he think I'm going to go to the tire shop?"

I replied, "Well, probably because you always go to the tire shop."

Agent grinned and said, "Well, tell him I ain't got time to mess with him." (No, he didn't use the word mess, but this is a family friendly blog.)

So, I realized that he was in a good mood and said, "Well, since you are in a good mood, I've got something to ask you. You do realize that the door is spelled wrong, right?"

Agent stood there staring at me and asked, "What the heck are you talking about?"

I said, "Well, I always thought that the name of this agency, also the name of the county, was spelled '...NAM'."

He said, "Yeah, that IS how it's spelled." and stood there looking at me like I was mentally slow.

I asked, "Oh yeah, well then why does the door say '...MAN'?" and sat there looking at him like he was mentally slow.

Agent stood staring at me for a moment and then turned and ran outside to look at the door. I watched with amusement while he frantically tried to scratch letters off the door.

When he came back in, he shook his head, looked at me, and said, "People are going to think we're a bunch of freaking dummies." (No, those aren't the exact words he used, but this is a family-friendly blog.)

I replied, "Well, I'm not, because I'm the one who noticed it. You mean to tell me that NO ONE else has ever noticed that???"

"No." he replied, "You're the only one."

I gave him my thoughtful look and said, "Wow, y'all are a bunch of unobservant people here in Podunk, aren't ya?"

This sent him into hysterics laughing, because when he first asked if I would like to work there, I told him I would give him a resume. His reply was, "We don't need a resume, we're just a little insurance agency in Podunk." SO, anyone reading this from my area - I am NOT making fun of our community, I was repeating his term ;-) Besides, I'd never make fun - I love it here! ;-)

What makes this story even more funny is the fact that they just finished spending quite a bit of money to put vinyl scenes on the two big windows on both sides of the aforementioned door, remodel the offices, new paint, and new carpet... Yet, the name of the agency (also the county) is spelled wrong on the door. Hehe, I bet he wishes I would have never moved here!

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A Funny In Podunk

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/funny-in-podunk.html

Ode To My BBFF

(c) Misty DawnS

Yep, I was like a sad puppy dog last night. You see, my BBFF is having serious problems with her computer. No, I'm not just joking around about her 'hard drive' or her 'disk drive'. She is seriously having computer problems, and I'm not liking it at all! Yesterday, she was unable to get online for most of the day, because a very good friend of hers is remotely trying to fix her issues the computer. Heck, I don't even know if she was able to access a dos command line, because for most of the day I was unable to chat with her. So, last night, when she wasn't online, I wrote her a silly poem. After sending her an e-mail of the silly poem, her screen name popped up on my instant messenger. So, I got to talk to her for a while! We're still waiting to see if her computer is completely fixed though. After reading the poem I wrote for her, she kept asking me to post it.

"It's absolutely silly." I replied, "I could write you a much better poem."

"No," she said, "It's funny, and I love it."

I wish an absolutely goofy and silly poem were exactly what is needed to scare her computer into straightening its act up! However, I doubt it. So, I'm just glad it made her smile and laugh.

So, since she's bigger than me and could beat me up to make her happy, I'll post the poem. Please, keep in mind this poem is completely goofy and was just thrown together very late at night in an attempt to make my friend smile.

Ode to my BBFF
Here I sit
Oh so sad
I miss the best BBFF
that I ever had.

We usually talk
for hours on end
and if someone is rude to one
the other is quick to defend.

We're experts on
data, reboot, and a good ol' hard drive clean
And we laugh like a dork and moron
when people don't know what we mean.

My BBFF, well
we thought it was a worm she had
turns out that
it was just her components gone bad.

Maybe it was the fault of her 'girls'
with which she's been blessed
the computer took one look
and it's data became all a mess!

Whatever the cause,
it has got me outta whack
I miss my BBFF
and I want our nightly chat back!

You see this poem
I should really stop
For, I've got so many
blogs I should hop.

But I'm finding
no matter how hard I try
It's just not the same
and I know exactly why.

I don't have that box
at the bottom of my screen that blinks
when she sends me a new message
or tells me to go check out a link.

So here I sit
like a sad bump on a log
without my BBFF to talk with
I don't want to hop blogs

How did I ever do it
before I met her?
I'm sure I did OK,
but how? I'm just not sure.

A lasting effect on me
this friendship has had
Daily, I think of 'moments'
and I start giggling like mad.

She's also been there
when I've needed her most.
We may physically be miles apart
but she always seems close.

But now she's not here
and I miss her so
and it sure makes me realize
I love her more than she'll ever know.

:-) Love, Misty (Dork) Dawn

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Ode To My BBFF

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/ode-to-my-bbff.html

The Pummelling Pig Post

Since I just found out that we've been invited to my sister-in-law's for the evening, I decided to do a re-post. I posted this story way back when - shortly after starting this blog. A few friends have recently been attempting to convince me to re-post this story, because they think it's the perfect remedy for bloggers who can't fall asleep they say it's hilarious. Yes, I must admit most of my farming stories about my getting beat up by one animal or another (or a whole group of them) are rather humorous. However, I've strongly hesitated in re-posting this because it is so stinking long. I tend to ramble, ya know....... OH, like I'm doing now... Well, let's get right to it...

Now - for the pig story... oh my... my husband thinks this is the greatest, funniest, most hilarious story ever... that would be because... 1. it wasn't him and 2. he wasn't there to suffer my fury!

We had just started to 'manage' my in-laws' farm... This means that, basically, we were still doing ALL that work that we had already been doing, but now we were so lucky as to also be in charge of all the finances. Oh yes, we got to pay all the bills... basically, that's what it meant. Anyway... We were having some trouble with finances, so my husband took a job as basically a hired-hand on our neighbors' farm, which was still a dairy farm. So, my husband would go there and help milk each morning, come home and work on our farm, and go back late afternoon/evening to the neighbors' dairy farm to help milk in the evening. This is where I came in. I would come home from work in the late afternoon/evening and take care of those chores. By this time, we were sheep farmers and were in the middle of lambing season. We had over a dozen lambs that were orphans and needed bottle fed - So, that was my first chore... bottle feeding over a dozen hungry little lambs, which are really cute at first until you are mauled and raped by them when they are killing each other for a bottle. We also had pigs. We had about 7 pigs, and we sent 6 of those pigs to market. That left one pig. As you will tell by the story (if you are patient enough to keep reading), that left one VERY lonely and desperate pig!!!

So, I came home from work, filled the bottles for the lambs, put them in a bucket and trudged my way to the barn. I was inside feeding the lambs, and I heard this "CRASH BANG CRASH" then... silence... I just sat there holding a bottle in mid-air wondering what I had just heard. Then I had this thought... "Oh NO!!!" I thought "PLEASE don't tell me the pig got out!! PLEASE don't tell me that's just what happened!" So, I finished feeding the lambs, and I went out to see what the commotion was all about. YEP, the one lonely, desperate pig had, in fact, charged the gate and broke out of the pen that he was in. He was now running happily around our cement lot. I stood there wondering to myself "What the he*l am I supposed to do now??" So I got this great plan.

He (the pig) went down an alleyway, near our manure pit. So, I hid behind the wall, and waited for him to come close to his pen. When he came close, I jumped out from behind the wall (and behind the pig) yelling and waving my arms in the air. It WORKED! The pig went running back into his pen. Yay!!! I did good. Then I realized "Well crap!!! Now, how am I gonna keep him in there?" Duh Mist, you didn't figure out your plan first! I needed a gate - yep, that's what I needed. So, I wandered around the lot until I found this big ol' heavy freakin gate that I had no business trying to move by myself. But, by golly, I moved it by myself! Only to find that by the time I got it over to the pen, the pig had wandered himself back out and was now merrily running around the lot again! Da*n it!!! So, I used the first part of the plan again (hid behind the wall, etc, etc, ran out waving arms and yelling, blah blah) it worked again!

Pig is now in the pen, and I've now got a big ol' gate to keep him in there! I am SO awesome! yeah... sure Misty... keep telling yourself that! So, I prop the big ol heavy gate up and realize that I need something to fasten the gate to the walls so the pig can't knock it down and get out again. Ok, I can do this... baler twine!!! Yay! baler twine will definitely work! So, I go into the adjoining barn and grab myself a big ol bucket worth of baler twine. I wearily come out and check, and hooooorah... the pig is still in there! Yes, I am good. Suuuuure, I am.

So, now, I must tie this gate to whatever posts I can possibly find so this darn pig doesn't get out again. Ok, I can do this. I've got this spiderweb of baler twine running from this post to that post and back out here around those other posts. OK, almost done. So, I'm kneeling down, carefully tying some baler twine around another post when I hear this sound... It's the pig... He's at the far end of the pen, and he's making this grunting, snorting sound and pawing the ground AND he's giving me the eye - yep, he was looking right into my eyes like - say your prayers girlie! THEN he did it... he charged... he slammed himself into the gate, and at that moment I realized that my careful baler twine tying didn't mean a da*m!!! I flew backwards onto the cement... the gate crashed down on top of me... and the pig... well, that da*m pig, HE ran over-top the whole length of me! From the TOES to my HEAD... yup, he just ran the whole length of me while I was lying there helpless and cursing!

By the time I got myself up - trust me... it took awhile, I went in and phoned the neighbors' farm... I knew that they don't answer the phone, but they listen to the messages. I promptly (and quite tiredly) informed them that if I did not get some help immediately, we were going to have pig on a spit for dinner!!! Well, of course, no one bothered to listen to the message... oh no, of course they didn't.

I did the whole waving the arms and yelling thing again. Got the pig back in again and started tying the gate to the walls AGAIN. This time, whenever the pig even acted like he might even be considering pummeling me again, I would stand up and start screaming and cursing at him to scare him back to the other end of the pen. After a VERY LONG time, I finally got the gate tied up and was sufficiently satisfied that the pig would not get out. I then went in the house for a well deserved rest.

When my husband came home from milking, he was expecting a hay customer to be coming for some hay that night. I figured he could probably use some help, so I limped my poor aching body outside to see if I could be of assistance. He looked at me immediately all concerned and said "What's Wrong? Honey, did you get hurt?" I replied "I've been beat up by a pig!" "What???" he asked. So, I told him the story... well, at least I tried to tell him the story, but towards the end, he was doubled over laughing so hard that I thought he was going to pass out. I literally had bruises - perfect pig hoof shaped bruises - all over the length of me... yep, little purple and blue pig-hoof-shaped bruises from my toes to my head!!!

Oh gosh - you would have thought this was the greatest story in the state. My husband was telling everyone. If I started to tell the story myself, he would interfere and say "No, oh no, let me tell it" Oh Yeah Dear, like you were actually there!

On a side note - when it was finally time for this pig to go to market, my husband informed me that it took him a full 20 minutes to cut ALL the baler twine off the gate so that he could get the pig loaded in the truck! SEE - I DID do a good job after all... yeah right, tell my aching body that now hates pigs that!

On another side note - my in-laws were in Arizona during this time. One day, my husband was on the phone with his mom, and when I walked into the room, my husband was holding the phone away from his ear, he was laughing, and I could hear her cackling through the phone. I just looked at him and asked, "You told her the pig story, didn't you?". He just shook his head in agreement, because he was laughing too hard to respond. My father-in-law brought me home a wooden cutting board as a gift... it was in the shape of ... you guessed it, a pig. Yeah - they all love me, can't ya tell?

So, that's the pig story - if you were patient enough (or bored enough) to read the whole story, I thank you! Hey - you can wake up - it's over now :-)

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The Pummelling Pig Post

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/pummelling-pig-post.html

When Typos Are All Too Appropriate

Oh my gosh have I got a funny story for you! Guys - take this as an advanced warning - you may consider this post to be 'too much information' or 'too much woman-stuff talk'. So, if you're a guy and get uncomfortable about the true facts-of-life that women must deal with, then I suggest you just skip this post.

Last night, I was talking to my BBFF, whom shall remain nameless (Yeah, like you don't know by now), on the instant messenger. To fully understand this post, you need to know that lately, we have taken up the silly habit of using computer terms to refer to ummmmmm - body parts and marital 'relations'. You know, "formatting your hard drive" or "putting a floppy in your disk drive" - I think you get the idea, and, if you don't, well then, this post isn't really for you.

I told her that I wouldn't be online today until this afternoon, because I had an appointment this morning.

I typed "Man, I don't wanna go to my appointment tomorrow."

The ever-wise-woman (and she's really good at reading my mind too) replied, "Gotta go get a pap-smear, eh?"

"How'd you know that?" I asked.

"No woman wants to go get a pap-smear." She so matter-of-factly replied.

Then she asked, "So, even though you don't have any, does your doctor do a breast exam too?"

"Yeah," I replied, "If she can find them."

"When my doctor is doing the exam, he makes jokes the whole time to keep my mind off it." She told me.

"Oh, I'm usually making jokes about my lack of chest with my doctor," I joked, "and she usually is cracking up laughing."

"You have a woman doctor?" She asked.

"Yeah." I replied.

"Wow, I can't remember the last time a woman examined my di*k drive." She remarked...

At the same beautiful moment, we both realized that instead of an "s", she accidentally used a "c". When we both were able to breath again and see the computer through the tears in our eyes from laughing so hard, I replied...

"Oh, I am SO going to post about this. You just made one of the most appropriate typos ever!"

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When Typos Are All Too Appropriate

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/when-typos-are-all-too-appropriate.html

Heads or Tails Tuesday *7 Things*

One of my favorite bloggers, Skittles has started a Tuesday meme. It is LOTS of fun-so you'll wanna join us right away! If you click on the Heads or Tails logo - it will take you to the post to tell you more about the meme.

This week's topic is Tails - Seven things about a category of your choice.

I did a photography-themed post over at Misty's Words, if you are interested. My post here will be quite different.

Seven Things You Will Not Hear Me Say

1. May I please have some squash?
2. No, I don't really want a Canon DSLR.
3. I don't want to pet that dog.
4. I need to research the top diet pills.
5. I need to buy a bra.
6. It's too hot to go fishing.
7. I've been on the internet for too long.

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Heads or Tails Tuesday *7 Things*

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/heads-or-tails-tuesday-7-things.html

The Bird Conspiracy

I've been telling you for months now that I want to capture some good bird photos. I was quite happy with the photos of the birds at my feeders, but those just made me want even more.Then, yesterday, Hubs and I went to town. On our way back, I exclaimed "Look at that hawk sitting on the fence post right by the road!" As we continued on our trip, we passed about eight more hawks just sitting on the fence posts right along side the road. Of course I didn't have my camera with me, and that's why the hawks were there... they were there to taunt me.

Yep, it's a conspiracy. They have Missouri hawk meetings so the birds can plan and discuss how to drive The Little Crazy Woman With The Big Camera even more crazy and insane. Of course, when I got home, I immediately grabbed my camera and jumped back in my poor beat up vehicle (Hubs hit a deer the other night) and put the pedal on the floor drove back to the road where we saw all the hawks. I only saw one hawk when I went down the road, and when I slowed down, the hawk flew away - I'm telling you - they do this on purpose - they are trying to send me to the nut house (or cause me to wreck - it's rather difficult to drive while simultaneously turning on, zooming, and focusing your camera).

So, I turned around... on my way back, I saw another hawk... started to slow down, pull up the camera, and CRAP there was a vehicle coming behind me! So, I had to keep going... of course, while I had that vehicle behind me, I saw THREE more hawks... and they were laughing... seriously - one had its wing up to its beak trying to hide the laughter, but the others were not so considerate - they just pointed at me with their wings, threw their heads back, beaks in the air, and laughed and laughed.

I had my window down for quick photo access, and while trying to get somewhere where that person behind me would pass, I had a semi drive by and was smacked in the face with rocks and salt... yeah - great.
So, as I told my dad this story last night, I told him that these da*% birds have now made it personal! I told him I am now on a mission. Dad chuckled and said "Don't worry Honey, they will come to you." That's my daddy, always trying to give his daughter some hope. But, HECK - I think Daddy called his own meeting and sent birds... millions and millions of birds to me! The lengths that man goes to for his daughter, I tell ya!
Seriously - do you see ALL the birds that showed up today??? I felt like I was in the Alfred Hitchcock movie! I would have the camera to my eye to take a photo of this many birds in the South, and I would hear this overbearing racket, and when I turned around, I would see just as many birds coming at me from the North!!! I was thrilled at this spectacular sight - It truly was amazing...

But then I started wondering... Is this just part of the hawk's conspiracy??? Did they gather together all these geese at a meeting and send them to invade me??? Why? What is their next move? I'm sleeping with one eye open, I tell ya.

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The Bird Conspiracy

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/03/bird-conspiracy.html

Dog Day Without Dad

Hubs went to a farm sale today with his brother-in-law. That's great with me - I'm glad they are hanging out together and enjoying each other's company in the negative-umpteen below zero temperatures - yup, go ahead guys have a great time!. However, Tag (HIS and only his dog) is NOT happy that 'Dad' left without him. I wake up... just get a cup of coffee... say "bye"... Hubs pulls out the drive... Tag commences acting as if he is being murdered. Literally - murdered. He paced... he cried... he did his normal "heh heh hehehehehehmmmmmmmmmmm" (which is REALLY annoying by the way)... and then - then - he started doing this doggie-scream!

I'm telling you... it was a scream. I could hear him screaming "oh Dear Doggie-Gods, my Daddy has lllllleft me! He went to work without me - I just know it! Oh Dear Doggie-Gods ppppppplease make this house explode right now so I can go running down the road at warp speed to convince my Dad to take me with him! Pppppppplease! Dog-nabit House - blow up!"

It was honestly the most pitiful and flipping annoying thing (remember, I just woke up) - Even Molly and the puppy were looking at him like "Dude! Take a chill-pill already! He'll be back for crying out loud! Man have you got issues!"

I tried explaining to the unreasoning, compulsive, psychotic, obsessed dog that his Daddy honestly did NOT go to work without him (You see, this is truly Tag's concern. Tag. Must. Work. - Molly and Maggie just want to live, eat, be loved, and play. But Tag - Tag. Must. Work! Tag will give up any of the necessities in life so that he can be 'working').

I explained, "Taggy, Bubby-Boy - listen to me. Daddy did NOT go to work! Daddy went somewhere where there are a bunch of people. Oh yeah! You do NOT like people, do ya Tag?!?! Remember how much you hate non-daddy humans??? Nope- you don't like people, and they don't like you! So, ya see - it's a doggone good thing you didn't go. You just stay here with Mommy for today! OK then" - Commence doggie pacing, barking, yelping, whining, and screaming... again... ALL day long! This type of carrying on makes it extremely hard to keep from completely losing your cool concentrate, research eco products ,and continue with your normal daily activities. Trust me - it is enough to initiate a severe migraine and cause the blood vessels in your head to explode quite distracting.

When we went outside in the negative temperatures, I opened the door to the building and showed Tag... "See Bubby! The skid-loader! It's in there... all safe and sound... not started up or performing work. You love that skid-loader, don't you? You see Daddy's truck with the trailer hooked on it, Bub?? See! I told you Daddy wasn't working! He's hanging out around a bunch of people. Remember how you hate people?!?! See, I told ya! Come on - let's go back inside where it's warm!" (commence pacing, whining, and the 'heh heh heeeeeh hmmmm heeeeeemmmmmmmm' - but, luckily, no more doggy-screamin').

The words 'issues' or 'obsessed' do not even begin to describe my Hub's boy. If he knows Hubs is far away and not coming back for a good, long while - then that dog will take care of me - he'll watch over me - he senses when I'm sick - he cuddles with me - he protects me - he OBEYS me - he truly, truly LOVES me. If Hubs is within -ohhhhh I'd say.... 700 miles - Tag looks at me like "Who the heck do you think you are? My Dad is ALL that matters, Woman!"

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Dog Day Without Dad

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/02/dog-day-without-dad.html

That'll Cover It

I saw this over at Rachel's and thought I'd try it. Let me tell you - This was WAY too much fun!!! Like I needed something else to get addicted too (hehe).

But, honestly though... you'd buy this magazine right? You'd be strolling through the rows of magazines and see this cute cover and wouldn't be able to resist making the purchase and taking this magazine home with you... right? And, well, it should be a real magazine cover, because not only is it totally cute, but just look at the top headline - it reads "Top 10 Most Popular Pets"... Well, duh! What's more popular than a puppy who is the star attraction in the header of a blog in the gigantic blogosphere?!?!

What about this awesome wolf in the woods? Would you be able to resist purchasing this magazine to learn all about how this huge lovable lug wild wolf prefers his meat cooked and covets stuffed animals survives with only a king sized bed to sleep in in day-to-day life?

Seriously - the magazine publishers don't know what they are missing!

Create Fake Magazine Covers with your own picture at MagMyPic.com

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That'll Cover It

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/02/thatll-cover-it.html

I Fought a Good Battle Anyway

Since my husband calls the couch his bed, our alarm clock is also in our living room. I wonder what visitors think when they see that? Oh yeah, only 4-legged creatures show up at our doorstep. I'm not complaining - most of the time, I prefer 4-legged creatures over humans - that's just how I am (present company excluded of course - I LOVE all of you - you know that... right?). So anyway (yeah, there really was a point to this post), I take my cell phone into the bedroom with me at night and use it's alarm clock feature. No, I don't have to be awake at any particular time, but I don't like how I feel if I sleep too late. I feel yucky physically, and I feel... guilty (go figure - Misty feeling guilty).

This morning, my cell phone's alarm clock went off... I hit its little snooze feature. I continued to hit that little snooze feature every five minutes (what the heck ever happened to ten minutes when you hit snooze?). I must have hit that feature so many times that the phone just said "Oh heck, just stay in bed woman!", because when I finally got up... it was almost two hours after what I had set the alarm for! Now, I knew that I had been feeling especially worn out lately, but I just figured it was from worrying about and taking care of Hubs and not getting decent sleep.

Then... I got out of bed. An instant headache caused my face to feel like someone was stabbing me with an ice pick. (It's not very nice to stab someone with an ice pick - My grandma told me so. What? I wasn't really gonna do it! Oh yeah... back to the post...). I went to the kitchen (passing Hubs who was at the desktop computer) to make coffee and fill the humidifier. He asked me what was wrong with me, and I said I just felt like I had no energy and I had a headache.

Hubs decided to call his mom. So, I got the trash together to set out for the trash guys (cuz good wives take the trash out - right Barb?). I filled the cups full of dog food and left them in the addition, so I could just put the trash out, let the dogs out, grab the food and feed them, and come back inside. Did I mention that we had LOTS of snow during the storm last night? Well, now ya know - in case I didn't mention it.

So, I take the garbage out... and Grissom Rex the stray dog comes running out to jump all over me because he's freaking starving because he's been running around with no home for too long help. Now, being the dog person that I am, I realize that this dog is in desperate need of food and attention... trust me - desperate need. However, when you are carrying a heavy garbage bag through snow that is almost up to your knees and rapidly soaking through your sexy sweatpants, having a dog jumping on you every step of the way can be a little too much. But, I made it, and GR and I turned back for the house. When I opened the door, I forgot to be quick and nimble, and GR burst through the door, dumped all the cups full of dog food, and proceeded to eat like he hasn't eaten for weeks (maybe he hadn't before, but I personally know that he's been eating quite well the past two days). So, I pick this Cattle Dog up (did you see the pictures of him? have you seen the pictures of me? just sayin') and toss him outside... about four times (cuz I was getting wore out and I just wasn't quick enough and he'd just turn around and run back in). Finally, I get him outside, get some food, put him in the building, close the building, and go get Tag, Molly, and Maggie. I get them fed, and I start trudging back to the house... only to look over and notice that while I was getting food for RG, he had taken it upon himself to rip the garbage open (this is the thanks I get?). So, I got a new garbage bag, picked up the loose garbage, climbed in the ditch to retrieve the bag that he knocked in there, and took care of that.

By the time I got back inside, my chest was tight and burning, I was sweating, and my head was pounding. Now, I sit here with my pounding head, and... you guessed it, I'm coughing like crazy cuz my chest is full-0-crap.

The moral of this long post?
You take in a hungry stray, you'll have to pick up garbage.
You take care of your sick husband, your chest will hurt and your head will pound. (and you'll still have to pick up garbage)

If you want to see my Wordless Wednesday, it's down there a few posts down... I'd show you, but my head is going to explode all over my pretty new laptop.

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I Fought a Good Battle Anyway

http://www.mistysmusings.com/2008/02/i-fought-good-battle-anyway.html

Enough Already